Benson the Badass
by 40-Ounce
Summary: This is my fanfic where Benson is gonna kick some serious ass


Wassup, Fanfiction? This is 40-Ounce and this is my first fanfiction and it's about my favorite character Benson from Regular Show, so easy on me guys.

Benson was just hanging around with his awesome buddies at the park doing his usual boring ass job that only crackers enjoy, except he makes it seem cool as he kicks the sacks of paper in the trash because he only showed them to his boss. Benson is so badass that he's wears sunglasses while smoking a cigar while playing The Wu-Tang Clan on the boom-box while playing Destiny on Xbox with his bros after the job is done.

While Benson was too busy being all badass and all that other awesome shit, Rigby is bitching about nachos.  
"Duuuuuuuuuude. I want nachos." Bitched Rigby.  
Benson kicks Rigby ass because he was being a crybaby bitch.

Mordecai doesn't show for some reason, so Benson goes to Mordecai's room to kick his sorry ass. Just as he enters the room, he finds a note, and it reads:

Dear bitches,  
I have taken Mordecai to my secret lair. If you ever want to seem him again, come to my lair and die.

Benson is pissed because he thinks Mordecai is skipping work and is trying to prank him.  
"I bet its a fucking prank," said Benson. So he rounds up the workers to kick his scrawny ass.  
"Mordecai is nowhere to be seen. Let's take the helicopter and find his bitch ass." Said Benson.  
"Am I getting paid for this?" Said Tomas.  
"No." Said Benson. "Now let's go."  
So they take the copper. Skips pilots the copper and Pops is giggling.  
"Oh golly good show I never rode in one of these." Pops giggled like one of those british kids.

They soon get to a cave. Just as Benson gets into the cave, a bunch of guards sart shooting Benson, but Benson has an arsonal of weapons in his sleeve, so he blasts the cracka guards out of the way. Then he finds Mordecai, chained to a wall.  
"Damn, Mordecai," said Benson. "You look like shit."  
So he lock picks the chains like the ones off of Skyrim. Just then, a mysterious figure comes out of the shadows. 

"You're not going anywhere." Said the mystery person, who is actually Margret (I hate that bitch).  
"Margret?" Asked Benson. "But why?"  
"Because he's cheating on me for a cloud!" Cried Margret. "Mordecai is mine and mine only!" 

Then a 100-foot giant bitch comes in. It's Starla.  
"Thee fi fo thum! I'mma shove you up my pussy!" Starla then tries to attack Benson, but Benson is too badass to die, so he goes straight into her pussy, kind of like in Dragonball Z (one of my favorite animes), killing her instantly. Benson escapes with Mordecai.  
"You won't get away with this!" Margret yells on the top of her longs. Guards start chasing Bension, but Muscle Man, Tomas, Skips, High-Five Ghost, and Pops ambush the guards. Pops was wrestling 3 guards to the ground, Skips was smashing cracka heads off, Tomas broke some hand and snaps their arms off, Muscle Man was kicking everyone in the family jewels, and High-five Ghost was slapping guards in there ass since that's all he can do. The guards are a bunch of damn pussies. 

They get to the copper.  
"Tom, get us out of here." Benson yelled.  
"Am I getting payed for this?" Tomas asked.  
"Go now." Bensoon yelled again. The they lift off. Tomas shoots the barrels near the big guns. The guards follow them on there own copper. They can't shoot however, as Tomas got rid of the bullets.  
"Rigby, since you here, use the gun and shoot the assholes." Benson exclaimed.  
"I just want some fucking nachos, man." Ridby bitched some more.  
"Just use the fucking gun!" Benson is tired of having to put up with Rigby's bitching.  
"Fine, I'm coming." Rigby sassed. He uses the gun on the enemy copper, yet he misses.  
"Out of my way, faggot," said Muscle Man as he kicked Rigby in the nuts. "Let me show you how it's done." Muscle Man aims the gun at the coppers. "You know who else eats a load? MY MOM!" Muscle Man shoots at the coppers, yet he also misses.  
"You're doing it all wrong," said Skips as he kicked Muscle Man in the nuts. He then land some hits, destroying some coppers along the way. Just then, Margret starts chasing them.  
"Give Mordecai back!" Yelled Margret.  
Benson aims his gun at the copper. "Have this, you possessive bitch!" Benson said being cool and he shoots the copper's blades down. Margret's copper explodes, sending her flying to a ghetto. There, she sees three black men, who happens to be MY NIGGAZ! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
"We don't like what you did with Mordecai." Said one of my niggas. And they beat her ass because he deserved it. 

So the gang go back to the park, Mordecai marries CJ, Ridgby gets some nachos, and Benson is rewarded as the new boss of the park. And that is the end of Benson the Badass, because remember... YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


End file.
